As I cheered Bradley Wiggins home to his win in the Tour de France I was struck by a thought. I haven’t lived in the UK for more than 16 years now and in that time I have probably not spent 2 months in total visiting. When I do go back to visit family I generally feel like a stranger in my own land; it feels foreign, alien to me and generally I can’t wait to leave. But, despite that, when they run the Union Jack up the flagpole, the anthem starts up and the team in white takes the field, or a Briton does something special I am at the front cheering! I don’t understand quite why but that’s the way it is. I also suspect that I am a pretty typical “expat” in that regard. We may leave our home country physically but there is always a part of us that can never leave.
This begs the question, if I am so programmed how do I relate to my new home when I move abroad and how do I fit in? I regularly hear people tell me that they are going to integrate in their new country, how they want to mix with the locals and keep away from expats in general and their countrymen in particular as they become part of the local community. The intention to “integrate” may sound admirable but when newcomers talk about it invariably older hands roll their eyes and look to heaven! Why? Well apart from the fact that it’s hard to integrate when you don’t speak the local language it also indicates that they have no idea of what it is like to be an immigrant. In some remote villages in Andalucia if you aren’t related or married to anyone in the village and don’t grow olives you won’t have much to talk about! One of my first business partners, a Chilean lady, told me that the neighbours in her village were very nice but all the ladies talked about was what they were cooking their family for dinner and the latest cleaning products. Flavia, after a career in real estate and property development, now lives near the beach on the Costa de la Luz and earns her living as an artist. Talk about different horizons!
The reality is that most arrivals come from a comparatively sophisticated, urban background. When they move abroad they want a better life but that should never mean leaving up the good things from “home”. So instead of thinking about giving anything up, you should move because you want more; wider horizons and new experiences. When I lived in Spain I ate raciones of calamares, pulpito and prawn pil-pil but that didn’t stop me enjoying an English breakfast on the sea front or even the occasional fish and chips! I enjoyed the Spanish way of life but didn’t have to give up being British or be ashamed of going back to my roots.
My best advice therefore to all new arrivals in any country is to see those who have gone before as a valuable resource. People who can tell you where to shop, where to eat, how to pay your bills or find a plumber and how to deal with bureaucracy. The locals don’t see the problem; they have grown up with the local way of doing things so everything is second nature and obvious. You however need to learn the ropes from scratch. As a result you will, as a new arrival, have more in common with German, Dutch and Scandinavian incomers than with the locals simply because you are sharing the experience of immigration. That doesn’t mean you should head immediately to an expat ghetto! On the contrary, I can’t imagine anything worse. Enjoy your new country but go into it with eyes open, take pleasure in the company of others journeying on the same pathand accept that you will find your place in your new community by being yourself rather than by denying your personal heritage.
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